What if monogamy was not the relationship style by default we would jump into without any consideration? What if we gave careful consideration to any relationship style wherever they are on the spectrum between monogamy and non monogamy?
Here are the things we think you should consider before jumping into the monogamous life:
You need to be self-reflective and ask yourself why you are choosing your relationship style. All styles have benefits and deficits, and it's important to have self-understanding as to what you are wanting or expecting -and why that is. Conscious decision-making is always important.
Unless partners requested or are committed to monogamy, don't assume you are in a monogamous relationship. Far too many people use length of time together or depth of intimacy to determine what relationship style and sexual expectations they can place on a partner. A conversation is the first thing to consider in order to avoid hurt feelings and disappointments.
Just like monogamy can't be assumed, neither can your definition or expectations of it. Discuss what it means to you personally and what your boundaries are within that definition. Use it as a tool to build intimacy and effective communication with your partner. There is no "right" way to do monogamy.
Sexual compatibility means having more of less matching types of sex you desire, frequency of partnered sex you prefer to have, and how much intimacy you're willing to have during or after sex. Monogamy is often not the best suit for partners who lack sexual compatibility, and it can take time to explore what a couple's sexuality may look like -meaning don't rush into it too soon.
A chosen relationship and sexual style is an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time commitment. Do frequent check-ins to discuss how partners feel about the different aspects of a relationship and any potential changes that can take place to improve those aspects. Try to listen with calmness and care and to be honest and open while sharing -even when it's not exactly what you may have wanted to hear.
Be flexible with what you request sexually and from your relationship style. The style that works for you or your partner now may not serve all your needs through out the whole relationship. Change is not always a bad thing.
Many people are not built for monogamy but can thrive in other healthy creative formation. So, it's important to be honest about what works best for you. If you have struggled in the past with monogamy, then stop agreeing to it and find partners who are open to a different relationship style and if it has been working for you, no need to fix what's not broken!
It all depends on each personal set of needs and the relationship structure that serves it. Be confident and ask for what you need!
Have you ever had the chance to meet the people behind them?