Fun fact: Did you know that Victoria and David Beckham were in a long-distance relationship for years? Yep, the now married for 20 years couple had to deal with the distance between California and London where David and Victoria lived respectfully. Most people aren’t aware of this because most stories of successful LDR are not quite as profitable in headlines as break-ups.
However, just because they aren’t as highly publicized and just because you don't really hear many success stories, doesn't mean that LDR doesn't work. Yes, it will take a lot of work and communication, but so does every other relationship in existence!
To help you on this journey, here are our top LVRSNFRNDS tips to making it work:
Any good and healthy relationship involves openness, honesty, and vulnerability. Make sure to always share your concerns, worries, and thoughts over your relationship with your partner, even if they sound small to you. Chances are: they are also thinking the same thing or will provide you with the reassurance that whatever you’re worried about can be worked on. Allow yourself to get validated on your emotions.
Schedule time together to do the things you both enjoy (playing online games, watching series or movies, reading, etc.) and try to create rituals around that. Also, consider spending time together for the sake of it, rather than with a purpose. For example, turn on your cameras and just do what you were already doing, just together.
Let them know what is happening in your life by keeping them updated on how your day is going and involving them in your daily activities and moods.
take time to see their face. Keeping up with each other through text and voice note is great but it's also important to take the time to talk to each other face-to-face even if it's for a short moment.
Set clear expectations early on in the relationship and make sure you're ready to have equal amounts of commitment in the relationship.
Test multiple things and keep experimenting with different ways to help you build intimacy (sexting, audios, gadgets, etc.)
Let them know when you're going to be unavailable beforehand. it can feel frightening to suddenly lose touch and can lead to a lot of anxiety. If you can, also provide them with an emergency number (a friend or family) that they can contact just in case. It does wonders to reduce anxiousness.
It's always important to keep in mind that this is your journey and that you need to find out what works for you and your relationship. The best way to do that is to co-create with your partners what fits their needs and yours as well at the same time. Every relationship is a continuous work in progress that will always need tweaking and re-negotiating as your needs and situation changes.
Here's how you can survive your LDR.
Facts and tips that can guide you on your allyship journey.
Have you tried doing it while having the support of a community of folks who've been there too?