We recently put out an article addressing toxic relationships and how to identify the common telling signs of unhealthy relationships. However, we strongly believe that diagnosing the issue is only half the battle, acknowledging it and working toward mending it --or preventing falling into it again is just as important. As our founder, Sophie always repeats “healthy relationships are not found, they are created!”.
Therefore, before we really get into this, you need to first leave behind the idea that you can just magically stumble upon a healthy relationship and the “right” people without making any effort to grow as an individual and into making it that way.
It comes as no surprise that building a healthy relationship starts with being unapologetically yourself and being as honest and open with each other as possible —this helps paint realistic images of one another and put aside the struggles of having to keep up with a masked image of yourself that’s only going to get harder to maintain.
Healthy relationships are not only about the other people in the relationship but also about yourself and building a healthy relationship with yourself. This involves actively trying to work towards spotting and dealing with your own toxic behaviours (because we all have them!) as well as making efforts toward healing your inner-self the ghosts of previous wounds don't affect your current relationships.
It’s always said that communication is an important part of creating a healthy relationship, and, yeah, it’s very true. Your relationship should be a safe space and a co-created healthy environment where you can all grow. This will take a lot of talking both at the start and throughout the relationship but it’s important to always keep an active and purposive line of communication.
Building intimacy is not as hard as it may sound and can sometimes be achieved through activities we usually consider to have no significant importance. This is one of the mindsets that you need to leave behind now! Everything you do together goes towards nurturing your intimacy and creating new forms of it that you can enjoy. So, take time to do small daily things together like cleaning, cooking, morning routines, etc. —it's also a good way to make repetitive activities fun!
It's important to never lose sight of your own individuality within a relationship. Focus on yourself, your goals, and your other relationships. Don’t force yourselves to be involved in every single aspect of eachothers’ lives, schedule time alone or with close ones, and always keep yourself as your number 1 priority . Healthy relationships are healthy because they allow you to grow, not just as a collective but also as individuals.
Try to be a dependable partner that they can come to in times of sadness as well as happiness. Celebrate their wins and mourn their losses with them and try to always offer a listening ear. Of course, as much as you can afford to. It’s impossible to be “there” for someone 24/7 and through all hardships --it can even be overwhelming to have to deal with your own issues alone, so it is important to set boundaries for yourself as well. Mutual understanding of these facts is also essential in developing a healthy attachment within a relationship.
We cannot stress this enough: Set realistic expectations. It's easy to get lost in the made-up world of perfect relationships so it's very important to remember that no relationship is perfect —it's all work in progress that requires flexibility, acceptance, and forgiveness.
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