Frequently asked.

Based on a true story.

Culture

You talk about 'healthy relationships' – what do you mean?

Our belief is that a healthy relationship is one where all parties are caring and communicate openly and honestly with each other, where informed consent is practiced at all times with understanding that consent is dynamic and can be withdrawn at any time without reason. What else goes into having healthy relationships? Well, that’s the perfect thing to discuss at one of our events or in our app!

Oh, so like ethical non-monogamy? Right?

Oui ! To put the 'ethical' into ethical non-monogamy, all people involved must have knowledge and consent of what is happening. Take it as a general rule that we encourage everyone to have an ethical approach to all their relationships, whether they have one partner, multiple partners or none; whether their relationships are sexual, romantic and/or platonic. Oh and we like to follow this also in our professional relationships, try it!

Do I have to be non-monogamous to join?

Non ! We value diversity and believe that relationships exist on a spectrum. What's monogamous to you may not be what it is for this other person. But you can definitely learn from each other! Also, we're not a dating platform, as our name suggests, our community is a space to meet both lovers AND friends. Our members have commented that being part of LVRSNFRNDS is a great way to make friends as an adult – which isn’t easy!

LVRSNFRNDS is sometimes described as sex-positive – what is it?

Sex-positivity is an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation. We like to go one step further describing LVRSNFRNDS as sex-positive but not sex-focused, which happily differentiates us from that sleazy sex-club enforcing normative sexual activities and that sex-positive party where you find it complicated to 'just' talk.

Does LVRSNFRNDS provide queer spaces?

We are a queer space where everyone is welcome and we believe this to complement nicely the much needed exclusive queer spaces. At LVRSNFRNDS, you can expect to meet people from across the spectrum of gender identities and sexual orientations and for your own to be respected. Queerness is a major inspiration to us when it comes to challenging society's notions of gender and sexuality, breaking from toxic masculinity, heteronormativity and couplenormativity to create inclusive spaces. We believe firmly that non-queer people can learn from queer people and we love to facilitate this! These interactions can only change the world for the better.

How do you make sure I won’t get fetishised?

We understand that the line between what does and does not constitute fetishisation can be blurry but one thing we are definitely certain of is that fetishisation has to be consensual. To protect you from being fetishised against your will, we have integrated this notion in our member selection process: our new member form includes a question related to racial and cultural dynamics. Finally, fetishisation without consent is against our requirements for membership. If you have been a victim or witness of fetishising behaviour that you are not comfortable with, we encourage you to speak up here.

Why are there no discounted memberships for women or couples?

We believe that everyone should pay the same price regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation or relationship status. Unlike other organisations in our space, we do not believe in using female participation as a means to excite interest, believe that single men are a burden or give special treatment to people who are in relationships.

I love what you do! How can I get involved?

The best way for you to help LVRSNFRNDS is to tell your own lovers and friends about us. Our current marketing budget is zilch, so we rely on organic growth to continue to expand our range of member benefits. We are always looking for collaborators or people who can help spread the word about our mission! If you are interested in what we do, please get in touch with Sophie!

Members

How old are members?

The average age of LVRSNFRNDS members is between 25-40, though membership includes adults of all ages over 21. Younger members are expected to possess maturity and older members humility. We believe that gathering members from different generations is a plus.

Is there a diverse mix of people?

We curate our community to represent a variety of experiences and intersections. Expect to meet a diverse group of people from around the world who value diversity, inclusivity, curiosity and supporting each other. These are our cultural cornerstones.

What if I need more than shared values to feel attracted?

Interesting question but we are not a dating service. We're about making friends just as much as meeting lovers and we are conversation focused. Physical attraction is not a prerequisite for having fun, enlightening, meaningful connections with other members.

Can I see pictures? What are the chances to get laid?

If you really want us to answer these questions, please don’t apply. You clearly don’t get the vibe and what we are trying to achieve with LVRSNFRNDS. Google is your friend to identify the hook up apps that should do wonder for you.

Conversations

Where are your most active local communities?

Before the 'Rona, our monthly IRL events helped develop a strong community in London. Our online shift has attracted people from many cities. Whether or not there is a local community near you, join us to make the most of our curated online conversations and app.

How can I help develop a local community in my city!

The best way is to tell your own local lovers and friends about us. You can check out our Affiliate program and also get in touch with Samy to share some tips and knowledge you have of what's happening locally: any person or organisation we could partner with to raise awareness about LVRSNFRNDS is always a good start.

What are these IRL events you're talking about?

In the world of yesterday, we'd host events across stylish, safe spaces. Members could expect around 40 people with a vibe similar to a friends’ get-together with our host helping them connect with each other. These will be re-introduced in big enough local communities once it's safe so let's build those communities together!

Tell me more about the conversations! What can I expect?

Conversations are inspired by our diverse group of members and their needs. At time of writing we have on-demand group conversations based on questions asked by a member, a weekly community talk, a book club, sharing circles around members identities and interests, cowatch parties, social mixers, Q&A.

I’m worried that I’m too shy for joining group conversations.

Walking into an online room full of strangers is intimidating and it's OK, we know it. We do everything we can to facilitate our events in a way that is welcoming to our shy and/or introvert members. There is no pressure to actively take part, most events can be joined camera off and we value someone joining just to listen as much as an active speaker.

Can I meet members before joining a conversation?

Kind of... Interacting with them in our app! Although we are big fans of the magic of 'meeting someone for the first time without judging them from their profile picture or online bio', you can get to know the community in our app, which works like a private social network. Once you have joined a conversation, you can direct message members based on their preference and you can keep the conversation going with our chat feature.

Commitment

What is 'a zero-tolerance policy against exclusionary or predatory behaviour?'

We take action, we are not afraid to speak up and encourage our members to do so. Our default stance is 'believe all victims'. Predatory behaviour includes: acting in a dishonest, controlling or manipulative way towards others; pursuing them after they expressed that they are not interested; coercing others into actions they are not comfortable with. Exclusionary behaviour is any act that makes another person feel unwelcome or unsafe due to their gender, sexuality, race, relationship status, appearance and so on.

A member of LVRSNFRNDS made me feel uncomfortable, what do I do?

If any member of LVRSNFRNDS makes you feel uncomfortable you can click here to speak up at any time. Members also have access to the LVRSNFRNDS WhatsApp if they want to message or call us to discuss the behaviour of another member. Everyone is taken seriously, we have a solid accountability process involving our members and we will not hesitate to revoke memberships to keep our community safe.

Perhaps I’m being oversensitive, everyone else think they’re nice.

There is no hierarchy within our community. No matter how well-liked or respected you may think another member or members may be, do not hesitate to report problematic behaviour. We will make sure your anonymity is protected. Our stance is that the feelings of our members are always valid. What might seem minor to you may be part of a larger pattern of behaviour that has affected many members, so please never hold back.

Do I have to be a member of LVRSNFRNDS to speak up?

Non. If you know a member of our community has behaved in a way that does not align with our values, please let us know here so we can take action before they cause further harm.

Membership

Why is there a selection process in the first place?

Our selection process is in place so that the people who join LVRSNFRNDS are those who have expressed that they share our values and understand what this community is and is not for. It also ensures that every new member has been informed of our culture and what is expected of them, so that there is no room for confusion should they ever need to be reminded of the rules or have their membership revoked. Protecting the diversity and wellbeing of our members is our first priority, which wouldn’t be possible if anyone could simply wander in off the street or the world wild web.

What is the selection process for new members?

If you want to join LVRSNFRNDS, the first step is to sign up with your email address. After this, you will be invited to fill the new member application form. This form will ask you questions covering your approach to relationships, why you want to join LVRSNFRNDS and some scenarios to test whether you share our core values. Pass this stage and we will welcome you to LVRSNFRNDS!

How long does it take to become a member?

The total process from sign up to member status should take less than a day.

How much does it cost to join LVRSNFRNDS?

Membership fee starts at $10/month. After your first month with us, you'll be given the opportunity to choose what's fair to pay.

What does membership include?

Membership gives you access to our app, groups, conversations, members' gatherings (in selected locations).

Can I bring a friend?

Yes, a lover too! But our conversations are members-only so please invite your friend to become a member. Tell them what you like about us, shouldn't be complicated to convince them and follow your steps.

I applied and haven’t heard from you?

Whether or not your application is successful, you are guaranteed to receive a response. If you haven’t, please reach out.

What do you do with my data?

Your data is never shared or sold with third parties and is only ever used collectively and anonymously to share statistics about our membership with current or potential collaborators/partners.

You’ve convinced me! How can I join?

Great news! Click on the link below! We are looking forward to hearing from you!